Last night my sister picked me up at the Lexington airport and on the drive home she said to me out of the blue, “Last night I was talking to Jay about why I like black guys and I decided that it’s because I’m mixed and I want to know more about the black part of me.”
I said, “Well, I think that’s a stretch and I think you’re overthinking things a little, don’t you?” Then she apologized for liking black guys saying that she doesn’t TRY to date outside her race. I told her that she shouldn’t think about it because in other parts of the country, no one does. I told her about my friends Jay and George who are an interracial couple and no one has ever seemed to even notice including George’s intensely Scottish father. This struck Amanda as strange. I told her she’d have to see it to believe it. Racism is just such a big part of her world.
If you’ve ever seen my sister you’d know she’s an albino version of me with a thicker accent and a spitfire personality. She goes to a historically black college in our hometown. They pay her good money to go there and it’s a good school but she’s constantly faced with race issues because of it. Being that she’s mostly white in an otherwise white town KSU is offering her a wealth of knowledge and perspective but she’s losing the people in her life that just don’t get it. She was supposed to get a degree, not make friends.
Amanda told me that one of her best friends since middle school, this girl Erin, was in her car with her when it broke down on the highway a couple weeks ago. A black man pulled over to help and Erin said to Amanda, “I’ll let you talk to him since these are YOUR people.” Amanda got out and the man helped her with whatever it was. Then Erin said, “Why don’t you just stay with that guy instead of going out with us? You have more fun with those people anyway.” Whatabitch.
Amanda’s friends tell her she talks different when she’s with black people, that she’s one of them, etc. This shit brings me back to middle school, when you had to choose, and when I chose neither I had no friends till high school brought me Andrew Smith and a new sort of confidence in my unique love is love genes.
I told Amanda she’s just gotta get out of here and see that people are different everywhere. She said that maybe she does need to go to NY. I explained to her that NY isn’t the only place where it’s OK to see people outside your race. She seems to think of NYC as a place where you have to sign an oath swearing to be accepting of others before they let you in. She just really doesn’t believe that a town where people have yards and quiet could ever be accepting of her. And boy does she love her domestic life at age 21, but that’s another story.