Quick Update

Right now I’m not supposed to be blogging. I’m supposed to be writing an artist bio for some of my new paintings that are up at a children’s store here in Lexington.

Quick updates. Firstly, I leave for Burning man at 6am tomorrow. Secondly, I watched Nick interact with his kid brother who has severe cerebral palsy. He just kept kissing his face (despite all the drool and pudding) and singing songs and talking very close to his face and I’ve just never seen so much love in a person before… No time to write. I need to get ta’ work before Nick catches me slacking. Yes, for now I’m still a live-in.

Bursting

No more beer for me. My piss is orange and I slept till 1. It’s 2 o’clock now and I haven’t been outside today. I’ve been having too much fun.

Key Words: Traffic ticket. Woodland Arts Fair. Hung Woo Ri. My Morning Jacket. Louisville. Bicycle. Chicken. Dance. ‘Everything is Shit’. Yarn. 600. Sam Adams. Will. Natalie. Amanda. Daniel. Katie… Bursting.

House Mom

Today I had my hair highlighted and straightened so I look like an Olsen twin. Very appropriate for the house party Nick’s throwing tonight. A band upstairs, college kids, drugs and lots of beer. But in a place so young with posters and booze, I feel so old.

Much Faster Than the City

Last night at dinner, Mary Allison said I should open a store instead of becoming a mail man and I was like, I dunno, that’d be an awful lot of work. I was really confused because she kept insisting on it even after I rejected the idea over and over. Then today, I reread an AdeleStreet entry that said, “I want to move back to Lexington and open a store.” When I read it, it sounded like a brilliant idea but spoken, I’m reminded of all the little shops that have failed. Mary Allison has faith in me and as a reader, that’s great but in real life, I’m too chicken shit to even talk about it. I’m so scared, I can’t even remember what it is I want.

So yeah, the store thing, I’m on it.

I talked to Stoll last night. He called me when he got off stage in Atlanta and he was same as ever. It was so nice to hear his voice and I’m going to see him on Sunday.

Monday or Tuesday I’m having lunch with Griffin- for closure and because the first time I see him, I want it to be deliberate. I’ll be awkward enough at a scheduled activity. I don’t need to run into him, wifey and all at the grocery store. The closure is the big thing though, because after a year and some months, it still hasn’t happened. I still can’t keep him out of my head.

Flight 5467

One of my Google ads has turned into a questionnaire about numbness. Google thinks I’m numb? I’m at the airport now. They basically paid me $400 to switch my 4 plane trip into a direct from Atlanta. Fuck yeah.

This was only after they tried to charge me an $80 overage fee to send the 9 lbs of paint in my suitcase. I ended up leaving most of them with my dad *tear* but I did manage to get several of the 2 ouncers onto my carry-on which is now heavy and awkward as all hell.

My mood was really bad but now it’s really good. I can’t wait to see my friends.

Last Ocean Nite

Looks like I’m phenomenal brit pop.

I just booked my car for LexVegas. I’ll be home in 22 hours. Night 1, dinner with Nick. Night 2 Al’s Bar to hear the sultry sounds of Niah Meeksoul. Then My Morning Jacket in Louisville, then Bombay with Mary Allison on Sunday. Lord, I hope I don’t die in a plane crash. I’ve got lots of work to frame, people to see. I spent 25 bucks a painting on shipping today.

Tonight’s my last night on the ocean. Time to go outside.

Ads by Google

I just signed up for Adsense so I’m going to have advertisements on AdeleStreet now- for a little while. I don’t think I’m going to make much money on them but I’m curious to see what kind of ads google matches me with. Right now they’re generic, but here in a few days, I should be matched with ads that match my writing. I’m aquarius, I’m red, a cat, an artist, I’m “get the hottest new ring tones today”.

Today I got my period so it’s either, IBProphen, NyQuil or High Life. But really, I’m craving a good run. Foggy.

Probably Too Tipsy For a Decent Entry

I’m sitting in the recliner, drinking High Life and listening to “Does Your Mother Know” from the Mamma Mia soundtrack. But now that’s over so I’m listening to Stoll’s new album. Fucking beautiful. I’ve been trying to get ahold of him but I don’t have a working number and he’s everywhere but here. I want to see him perform while I’m out west. Once upon a time he was like a brother to me. I miss him and Kate.

Today is Dad’s birthday. I took the fam to L’s, which served ridiculous amounts of food. It was so completely unnecessary, very American. I walked away with a doggy bag containing a pound of meat and a huge blob of sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. Dad loved it. I didn’t love that they don’t serve alcohol.

This morning I helped Beth clean a condo again. I enjoy being a cleaning lady from time to time. I can add it to my list of mad skillz. Today I felt like Jenny From the Block in Maid in Manhattan. 3 hours of work 50 dollars, not bad, enough for a new dress. After seeing that movie, that’s the way I imagine maids spending their cash.

Yesterday I wrote a short story. It begins with a Michael Jackson quote and ends with a blast to the pussy. Crazy shite. I’ll let you read it at some point but for now I’m having my boys look over it for various errors. It needs a lot of work before its big debut.

I go home on Wednesday. I want to be a mail man. A lot.

Things I Love

I was just cleaning out my Myspace when I realized how long it’s been since I’ve written a Things I Love list. Too long. So here goes:

8 grain bagels from the Walmart deli with cream cheese and fresh strawberries

Running at night while listening to The National (I miss you Brendan!)

The time between Elizabeth telling me I’m finished with my sidework and Dad arriving to take me home from M’s

Drinking High Life with Nick under an umbrella on the beach

Riding my bike at night down the section of the road that doesn’t have streetlights and looking up at the stars

Painting on the balcony on a cool day, finishing a painting, loving it, showing it off

Going to the movies with my family

Riding bikes to the grocery with my dad

Looking for shells with Kathy

Letters from Mary Allison

Late night phone calls from Nick

Finding new music on www.Tablethotels.com

Exploring new hotels

Red Snapper

Vampire Weekend

The Triangle

Cocktails with Lisa in the Castle

A night on the town with my little sister, dancing and laying in fountains

Sass

Remember: Don’t talk to me about what you read on AdeleStreet.

For a while I’ve been writing superficial bullshit (mostly unposted) because I’ve felt too exposed. Not tonight thank god because I can tell by my wide 2am eyes I need to cough up something real to reach equilibrium. I need a vice. It has to be AdeleStreet because it’s too dark to paint and the tv’s numbing my brain, probably irreparably. I have a book I can read but it sucks- The Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. It’s written from the perspective of a child with autism. I just don’t have the patience for it. It REALLY gets on my nerves.

I used to tutor a kid with autism in high school art class. One day he ran away from me, and all over the school for that matter with a thumb in his mouth and a hand down his pants. I think his name was Jared… and anyhow, if the book was more about stuff like that, I’d like it a lot better.

I go back to Lexington in one week. I think Nick is nervous, nervous that he has to be the boyfriend or that I’ll be staying over too much or that he’ll have to tote me around or deal with any of the details of my new Lexington life. He doesn’t need to worry of course. He’s picking me up from the airport but I’ll probably head to Frankfort the very next day to get my art sorted. His concern or else the concern I’ve projected onto him makes me feel a little guilty, and I haven’t done anything. Surely it’s just the distance. Of course it is.

I’m listening to the Junior Boys right now and they always remind me of the day Griffin burned their cd to send to DJ Swa when she first moved to San Fransisco. I didn’t know anything then but it makes sense that they’re getting married. He really seemed happy that day. I’m listening to the song, Like a Child and yeah, ha! That just wasn’t my place. This is or else wherever I float off to next. I wonder if I’ll actually be able to anchor the way I planned or if Lexington is yet another stop.

I used to paint myself as a muse or in costume. Now I’m just me, very tangible and steadfast but my feet move so quickly. I love to run, even when my body’s tired. I run out to a sign that says Seas of Change before I turn around and by the time I get back, I’m sad the run is over and I contemplate doing it again but I never do. I love to run and I love to be dropped off at the airport. And I love to drink $10 glasses of Sam Adams while I wait for my plane.

I’m going to be in Lexington until January at least and I’ll stay past then if I can find a job but I don’t think I’ll find one that’s right for me. I’m paranoid and I’m already making plans of how to get back on my feet after I meet my demise. I’m excited but also, I’m scared to come home.

I need to just stick it out, to be strong but when you stay in one place for too long, people think they know you and you become your job or your family. I can’t hide in a place where the scenery never changes. I don’t mind the short romances of a nomadic lifestyle. They don’t make me cry or smoke too many squares. I don’t mind not seeing my family. We get along so much better when I’m not around. But yes, is it really living if you don’t hit the ups and downs? Is seeing everything really living it? No, it’s not. I know this. It’s just so damn scary to stay.