waking from a dream.

Story by Sarah Marie Miller
Illustrated by Adele White
waking from a dream.
i wrote this a while back after waking from a dream.

“and you had belief?”
“mmhmm” she nodded.

“and where has it gone?” he wondered.
she stopped.

overhead was a dome of calm seas, spotted by a handful of white kittens lazily sailing eastward, bobbing along the tides. with an arm stretched to the west, her eyes followed a line surrounded by green. from far out on this line, a snake traversed hill and valley to reach her on the plain. it curled inside her brain, breathing “perish.”
she laughed, and patted her empty stomach.

“i do wish i hadn’t cried so much” sighed alice, as she paddled to the cupboard. she was looking for her friend jigsaw. she always liked to piece a puzzle when hungry.

and she was gobbled by the bear. sliding down the esophagus, she bumped into her right arm, reached up to tickle the insides. she was lurched back into the green world. “thank you for the ride!” she burst. “and it won’t be the last” decided the bear.
there were once trees here and more than anything she wanted to climb to the very top of one, just to see how small the world had become.

Macaroni Necklace

Before the collecting, before the potted trees and the gun, Magil enjoyed macaroni necklaces and making films about her life in the forest.

Fresh reds were best, like when the newtles were squishy and soft and pulsing. Then she would dye them blue and careen as they eased into an earthen purple.

Lay them out and name them. You are my friends and I love you and you and you and you in your yellows. Fascinated by the detail she would watch them dry with splotches until an evenness in pigment declared them ready for adornment.

Red, blue, yellow, green, magenta, teal and oh the browns.  Magil licked the end of a rotting thread and shoved him through each macaroni, looping a long strand of pasta around her neck she looked into a foggy mirror.

So much ugliness in that mirror

But not you my loveys. You sing. You have so much heart and glory.

Magil shovelled the necklaces into 3 jars- one pickle, one jam and one peanut butter and plastic, lid them and left them to die.

Magil looked into the mirror, pulled off her dark green sweater and cried. She touched her neck carefully noting where each color had been before. Her body was dirty there and when she rubbed, mushy tan skin rolled onto her fingers. Rubbing long enough, the red appeared where it once was, then a purple, then an even deeper red.

Malibou (Magil) pretend*

Malibou was sitting in the window licking her paw clean, flicking her tail like some cheap whore.   Avery sprawled in the corner like a sea slug swollen with leeches. Parts of him spattered on the molding, glued down with deep red. Avery was my favorite pet so I had no choice but to teach Malibou a lesson.

I approached her slowly. I didn’t need to be stealthy because she trusted me.  I could tell even at that moment by the way she stopped grooming and raised her chin to greet me. I just wanted to be tender, because even though she did a bad thing, I loved her. She began to pur, a very calm chant that put me to sleep on so many nights. I placed my fingertips on the bridge of her yellow nose and felt as she tilted her head back even further to help my fingers along between her eyes, to the crown of her head, to her neck where I took hold of her pink rhinestone collar.

I slung collar, cat and all toward the pile of Avery. Cats always land on their feet but not if you throw them into a wall. They hit and crush and mangle just like any other natural being.

I sat at my vanity for a while studying my hair and imagining what people might think of me if I didn’t have to wear glasses. I had a chance at contacts once but I couldn’t get them in at the doctor’s office, then my family ran out of cash and I never got a chance to go back and try again. Now I’m on my own, no money for things like that. I guess the glasses will have to do.

I can see my two pets resting behind me in my reflection. They look so peaceful. If only they could have acted that way before, I wouldn’t have to put them in jars them today.

I will give Malibou formaldehyde but not Avery. I want to watch him decompose.

Magil and Michael

“Everything that I love is behind those gates. We have elephants, and giraffes, and crocodiles, and every kind of tigers and lions.”  –Michael Jackson

This is an illustration from a story I’m working on.  I plan to post it bit by bit on my blog as I fine-tune and illustrate until finally publishing with lulu.com.